For those of us who live in Northern New Jersey, outside of New York City, it seems that everyone is tightly wound, moving at a fast pace and under constant pressure. When you ask a New Jersian how they are they will inevitable say, “I am so busy!” and then sigh.
Between demands, family responsibilities, financial pressures, health concerns, and relationship struggles, many people carry the constant burden of emotional strain. As a Christian counselor, one of the questions I often asked is: "Am I stressed, or am I worrying?" David Powlison helps us answer this question in two articles: Stress-Peace Amid Pressure and Don’t Worry. I have excepted these articles to show you the difference between stress and worry and to offer solutions.
While stress and worry are closely related, Powlison in his article shows us that they are not the same thing. Understanding the difference can help you identify what is happening in your heart and mind and help you find a healthier, more biblically-sound way forward.
What Is Stress?
Stress is your body's natural response to a challenge, demand, or pressure. It is often connected to real situations you are presently confronting. You may feel stressed by your job and a long commute. You may feel be overcommitted because you have trouble saying NO. You may be in the sandwich generation and caring for both an aging parent and young children. You may be dealing with financial pressure of the high cost of living or facing a serious medical diagnosis.
Stress often affects us physically. You may notice muscle tension, headaches, fatigue, digestive problems, difficulty concentrating, or trouble sleeping.
Stress itself is not necessarily sinful or unhealthy. Even Jesus experienced intense pressure. In the Garden of Gethsemane when he faced overwhelming circumstances and prayed fervently to His Father (Luke 22:39-44). Stress is often a warning light saying we need to slow down, get rest, seek wisdom and practical support or seek out a wise counselor for help.
What Is Worry?
Worry, on the other hand, is primarily a mental and spiritual activity. Worry focuses on the future. Instead of dealing with what is happening today, worry asks, “What if:” "What if I lose my job?" "What if my health gets worse?" "What if my children make poor choices?" "What if my marriage never improves?" "What if something terrible happens?"
David Powlison, in his article Don't Worry, points out that worry is often our attempt to control the uncontrollable. We become preoccupied with uncertain outcomes and begin carrying burdens that belong to only God. Jesus reminds us that worrying cannot add a single hour to our lives (Luke 12:25).
In counseling, I often tell my clients that stress says, "I have a challenge in front of me." Worry says, "I am trying to manage a future that I cannot see."
Why Worry Is So Exhausting
The problem with worry is that it creates an endless cycle. Our minds convince us that if we think about a problem long enough, we can problem solve and somehow prevent it from happening. Yet worry rarely solves anything. Instead, it drains our emotional energy and increases our anxiety.
Jesus identified this tendency when He taught His disciples not to worry about food, clothing, or the future. Rather than focusing on uncertain circumstances, He directed their attention to God's faithful care. He pointed to the birds and the flowers as evidence that God knows and provides for the lesser in his creation (Luke 12:24-28). At its core, worry often reveals a struggle to trust God with things beyond our control.
The Noise Inside
Another helpful insight comes from Psalm 131. David describes a heart that has learned to be quiet before God: "Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother." (Psalm 131:2) Powlison describes anxiety, ambition, irritation, fear, and restlessness as "noise" within our soul. He explains that much of this inner turmoil comes from trying to control things that are ultimately beyond us.
Think about your own life. What creates noise in your heart? Do you have a fear of failure? Do you fear financial uncertainty? Do you fear relational conflict? Do you fear health concerns? Do fear disappointing others? When these concerns become consuming, our hearts lose their sense of peace and stability.
God's Invitation: Trust Instead of Control
The good news is that Scripture offers a different path. Jesus does not simply command us to stop worrying. He gives us reasons to trust when he reminds us that, your life is more than the things you worry about, and your Heavenly Father knows what you need. You are valuable to God. God gladly gives His children His kingdom.
In my Christian counseling practice, I can help you move beyond simply managing symptoms and begin addressing the deeper heart issues that feed chronic worry and anxiety. Together, we can learn how to: Identify the thoughts that drive anxiety and distinguish between real-life stressors and imagined future fears. I will help you identify the heart idols that have you in bondage and work to root them out. We can develop practical coping skills to make life more manageable. I will help you strengthen your relationship with God and learn to apply biblical truth to your everyday struggles. I will also help you cultivate the peace that Christ provides for you.
You Don't Have to Carry These Burdens Alone
If stress and worry is weighing you down, anxiety therapy can help. Many people wait until they are in a crisis before seeking support. But you don't have to reach this point before asking for help.
At Beth Hastings Counseling, I provide compassionate, Christ-centered counseling anxiety therapy for individuals, couples, and families throughout New Jersey. Together, we can explore the sources of your anxiety, pull out the roots, and develop practical strategies for change, and learn how to rest more fully in God's care. Contact me at set up a free 15-minute phone or video consultation at 973-464-2759. You will not be sorry.
The goal is not simply to worry less. The goal is to grow in confidence that your life is held securely in the hands of a faithful Father who knows, loves, and cares for you.